The Antelligent Journal

"Can't you just let me be? How could you do this to me?" she said angrily. Built from insanity, She sees everything As she loses her mind. Her fear is the light at the edge of the sky. [Section blacked out in original notebook] But nothing shines quite as bright as the nights she has shared with you.

Why don't we flip the script and turn the old, new-age narrative on its back? What would come of it? Symbiosis. I'd suspect, for some time, until the majority is able to sustain itself long enough to create balance, that the awareness of one would multiply into the collective consciousness, creating another ripple in the evolution of the human experience—a place of people adapting to one another until they evolve and abound once more. The computers we've created to mimic humans, and our current understanding of intelligence, have led us somewhere unexpected. What if we've been looking at evolution the wrong way? Back to the Future presents us with a misconception. We imagine watching our own species evolve before our own eyes as though it's science fiction. Of course it's already happening. We watch younger companies redefine industries. We watch technologies emerge that solve problems in ways we never imagined. We compare today's intelligence with yesterday...

Everything comes easy to you. A quarter of the effort, still the best in the room. If it all goes flowing upstream... Everything comes easy, you see. My hardest memory, filling all the in-between. If it all goes flowing upstream, a story told backwards. A magician and his queen. You could tell every passage backwards. Chef Boyardee. Naturally born superstar. A magician has driven, with his mind set... My worst nightmare turned into my dream. Stubborn. Who the hell am I to assume when your sadness blooms flowers? When somehow the flowers still bloom from your [...] Why, when it comes to you... Like a dream left beaming. Forgotten lighthouse, but the brightest on the shore. But as the better half of me, I let you be. Like a dream left beaming. The brightest lighthouse. You're the lighthouse left beaming. Alternate Draft Fragments Everything comes easy to you. A quarter of the effort, still the best in the room. Everything comes easy, you see. My hardest memory. My deepest nightmare. ...

I'll be with you, even after we leave. Because you're the corruption I need. A tossed paper in the trash, to you. I'm the pencil shaving that has fallen into the crack. A timeshare. A wasted-up nightmare. A lost lesson. Can't even read the message.

I got heart, and so do you. I need yours to keep beating. That's why I care for you. The way you push me away... it's okay. I probably won't be able to stay.

I've given you all my love. I hope it was enough to heal your heart. I tried my best. Sorry if it wasn't enough...

4/24/23 A deadman's curse, a soul-crushing hurt on both ends. The liar loves by flooding a whole bottle of gin, a mouth full of sin, and a hand around her neck. Song: Deadman's Curse Think Letters Blank 2008